A Little Sibling Rivalry.
Apparently one brilliant blogger wasn't enough in our family. My younger brother, Josh, as opposed to my older brother (who has yet to be born) has decided that I was receiving too much attention for being known, in my head, as the family's most brilliant writer. So, like he did when I was 8, he has decided to steal my thunder and create his own son of a bitch blog.
This situation is exactly like it was when I was 8 years-old, and Josh was brought into our family, stealing my glory as the family's cutest son. I say brought, because until now it's been a sworn family secret that we would not disclose that Josh was not actually born from my mother. In fact, he was left behind after the Barnum and Bailey's circus left Buffalo Grove, Illinois. My father found him in a tremendous, steaming pile of elephant shit. And apparently the elephant had eaten squid, chili peppers and ghoulash.
To this day, we're not sure whether Josh's real parents were Mr. and Mrs. Tiny Hands (they were normal sized-people, with proportional bodies, but horrifically little hands) or John "Cankles" Henry and a Chinese fire eater. John "Cankles" Henry was a normal-looking human from the knees up, but he brought the crowds to his tent because his legs were the same width from his knees to his feet. He had absolutely no ankles, thus...Cankles (Can't find the ankles). People usually left John's tent vomitting. His legs were grotesque. I had promised to keep Josh's origins secret, but his last subversive straw has broken this camel's back. And I am now thirsty for revenge. But I will only drink occassionally, as I'm a proverbial camel.
By the way, Rachel is also not related to me or my parents. I haven't decided where she came from yet; However, rest assured that it was a foul and undesireable.
Josh's son of a bitch blog is www.sevenlemons.blogspot.com
Here is a link to Michael's blog if you have nothing better to do.
1 comment:
THAT WAS HILARIOUS....UNBELIEVABLE PICTURE!
YLM
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